Daddy Please
by Sawadork
Summary: Tsuna wasn't sure what kind of hell he just unleashed, but he was sure that prison was better than this.


Iemitsu was as noisy as ever today. Tsuna was pretty sure he was being even rowdier but he didn't think it was physically possible.

Reborn had picked up on it too and was using this as a method of getting Tsuna to actually spar with Iemitsu. It was amusing because even Reborn agreed that it was a pretty dick move to punch your son in the face.

The two had been going at it on the iconic cliff Tsuna had used the first time in training for the Varia battles. Iemitsu seemed to hold back a little as people gave him so much grief last time. That was fine with Tsuna as he easily worked around the blocks with techniques Reborn had shown him.

Reborn watched from a tree, his limbs hanging down from either side of the branch. He was tempted to shoot Tsuna with a Dying Will Bullet like old times sake but he had outgrown those after the vindice battle. It had been about three years since that battle and Tsuna had yet to stop growing and becoming the leader Reborn had dreamed him to be.

Soon enough, everything got boring for Reborn as Iemitsu still didn't do much but dance out of the way. Reborn fired in between the both of them. Tsuna fell over himself trying to get out of the way. Iemitsu just looked cautiously around them. Reborn rolled his eyes as Leon crawled back up his arms and sat in his hair. He had lost his hat sometime last night in Tsuna's room. He couldn't find it and he had a feeling one of the kids took it. It'd be a great excuse to beat Lambo up.

Like always, Reborn gracefully landed on the ground. He sat on his legs as he look over at Iemitsu.

"You can stop looking like that." He said. "I'm bored. Mama is almost done supper. Let's go home."

Tsuna stood up and patted the dirt off his pants. "Alright. It was...Good work today, Dad."

Iemitsu beamed and missed Reborn's smirk.

"Piggy back me, Tsuna." Reborn announced. He didn't wait for an answer either as he jumped onto Tsuna's back. It was a miracle Tsuna was even able to stay standing upright as Reborn was pure muscle mass now. And Tsuna was still a head shorter than Reborn even though he had grown almost a foot [~30 cm] over the last month.

"Why the heck are you so heavy." Tsuna said. He strained forward before falling flat on his face.

Reborn shook his head. "Pathetic. I trained you better than this, Tsuna."

"You have terrible training. I'm sore for weeks after one of your training sessions." Tsuna protested.

"Because you need to be in shape. If you can beat me home, you won't have to get another training session like that for a month."

"Fine. As long as it gets me out of-hey!" Reborn had taken off in the middle of Tsuna's sentence. He tried to scramble down the cliff safely but Reborn was already on the ground, in a dead sprint towards home.

At this point, Tsuna said screw it and let his arms be scraped to hell as he tried to catch up. He had no hope as he wasn't very fast still. And he was running through the woods so there were roots galore he was tripping over.

By the time he was out of the forest, Reborn was out of sight. Iemitsu could be heard making his way back home, loudly stepping on the branches without a care as to who heard. Tsuna didn't pause long to wait as he scrambled through a shortcut Gokudera had shown him.

Tsuna had no clue what he expected though as he rounded the corner to his house. Reborn was balancing casually on the roof. He sat cross-legged on it, scanning the street for the bush of brown hair Tsuna owned. It was almost like a beacon and was the easiest thing about Tsuna to spot.

"What took you so long?" Reborn asked as Tsuna collapsed on the ground.

"Don't…" Tsuna started. He couldn't finish as he started coughing, trying to catch his breath. Reborn jumped down and sat next to him, offering him a cough drop.

"You have to work on your speed and to not flail your limbs as you run." Reborn said critically.

"C-Can I not...have one moment of...peace?" Tsuna said indigenously.

"No, you can't. Mama's calling for us too."

"When are you going to stop calling her that? You sound 25 yet speak like you're 2."

"I'll speak however I please. Somebody around here has to be babied." Reborn gave an innocent smile. "Are you excited for your laps around the town?"

Tsuna would have screamed if Iemitsu hadn't barged in then. He overshadowed anything Tsuna was about to say with a loud, "It smells good, sweetie! What is it?"

Reborn made eye contact briefly with Tsuna and the two had to look away so they didn't laugh in front of Iemitsu. He never liked having people laugh around him unless he was in on it.

Nana had laid out an entire feast as always. It was rare for Iemitsu to be home. Tsuna couldn't wait for his visit to end though. There was no way he could keep up the charades of actually liking his father for more then a week.

As always, everybody was noisily chatting as they ate. Lambo, I-Pin, and Fuuta were all chattering about school to anybody that would listen. Reborn was stealing food left and right from Tsuna even though he had his own full plate. Iemitsu was acting like he was on a honeymoon all over again with Nana, feeding her food, gushing over her cooking, complimenting her at the drop of a hat. It made Tsuna gag with every bite he took of the food.

But Nana had a habit of never tasting her cooking so everything was either full of spices or not at all. Salt was all that was needed to fix it. This was the case here.

"Dad", Tsuna said, "Can you pass the salt?"

Both Reborn and Iemitsu reached for the salt. They locked eyes. Reborn was deadfaced as always but Iemitsu seemed to be trying to contain his anger.

Tsuna really hoped for the floor to open up. It couldn't get any worse.

Until it did. Fuuta turned to Tsuna, the silverware lifting slightly off the table, looking him in the eye and said, "The Ranking Planet says that Reborn is the best daddy out there."

* * *

 **i dont know if this is the best or worst thing ive ever written.** **i got the idea from a post on a tumblr blog called incorrectkhr and their posts are fucking hilarious pls check them out**

 **Comments are nice, guys**

 **-Gate**


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